July 13, 2009

The Dream Killer!

Now for those of you that don't know I have sickle cell anemia. Now I don't have the full blown disease just a trait. I go through the same things as people that have the full blown disease. Number 1 is a picture of regular healthy red blood cells, and number 2 is a picture of sickle shaped red blood cells. Now because of the shape of my blood cells they tend to get stopped up usually in my joints and the pain is so excruciating that even as a 22 year old man it brings tears to my eyes and screams of frustration and anguish. When I was younger, The pain would usually be in my legs and arms, but now I get it in my hips, chest, tail bone, legs, arms, and worst of all my back. My lil' homie Dedan asked why don't I just get a blood transfusion. well the problem with that is that my body produces these sickle shaped cells, and I'm pretty sure that the alcohol I use to drown my personal pain away doesn't help either. The reason I call it the dream killer is because when I was in pre-school my class put on a play and at the end we said our names and what we wanted to be when we grew up. "Hi, I'm DaVon Binford and I want to be a professional football player when I grow up." So when I was finally old enough to play football my mom and I went to the doctor and they said that if i played football that I would need a hip replacement by the time I was 21 years old. I still play sports but I can't play like a full season of any sport without my sickle cell fucking up. I love sports and I would have been a great professional athlete, but because of this fucking disease I had to get other dreams. Kanye said " Now Do I Let These Dream Killers Kill My Self Esteem, Or Use My Arrogance As The Steam To Power My Dream". Well my arrogance can't cure sickle cell matter of fact there is no cure for it. It's only things you can do to help until the pain passes. Morphine puts me to sleep and really drowns out the pain, but I wonder how long will it take until my body gets use to it and it doesn't help at all. Well what I'm really trying to say is...


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